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Holistic Health & Wellness Coach

Feb 5

Ancient Wisdom – Always Relevant

by Barbette Spitler
ho'oponopono heart
There is much wisdom in ancient teachings.
     As I spend more and more time and energy reaching out to those in need or helping others reach for the stars, I am also presented with opportunities to learn from the teachings of the ancient elders.
     Mother Teresa is one of those who carried forward the teachings of the ancients into current time.  She taught us the true meaning of love and service.  She inspires me.  Gandhi taught us to “Be the change we wish to see.”   Wayne Dyer taught us to take responsibility for our own thoughts, actions and reactions.  I could go on and on.  Each of these wise teachers are reminding us of the wisdom of the elders.  It’s not new news.  It’s all ancient teachings.  But who brings them forward?
     Another great ancient teaching is the Hawaiian Healing Prayer,  Ho’Oponopono. It means – to make right.   It’s so simple it’s difficult for our ego mind to believe it could possible work to help heal anything.  Yet, it does. From injuries to relationships!  It’s like a miracle worker.  Why?  Because it combines the power of love and forgiveness.  There are only four steps.  They are laid out in four simple statements which connect to deeply held beliefs or emotions.
     Step One:  Acknowledge and Repentance.  I AM SORRY.  We are completely and totally responsible for our actions and reactions!  We choose them.  You may be sorry for being angry or for hurting someone’s feelings. You may be sorry you gained weight or were careless and hurt yourself.  The list goes on and on.  Even if you are not quite sure if you are “sorry” for something, say it anyway and see what happens.
     Step Two: Ask forgiveness.  PLEASE FORGIVE ME.  You are not necessarily asking this of another human.  Ask it from Spirit.  Ask for forgiveness from yourself… for yourself.  Try it!  See what it feels like to be in this very vulnerable state.  It’s amazing! (And it gets easier with practice.)
     Step Three:  Gratitude.  THANK YOU.  Again, this is not about going to another human and expressing the gratitude.  Express gratitude to yourself for yourself.  Just say it!  Thank Spirit.  It doesn’t matter to whom… just express the gratitude! Say Thank You!
     Step Four:  Love.  I LOVE YOU.   Share the love. Love for yourself.  Love for others.  Love for Spirit.  Love for humanity.  Just share LOVE!
 I'm sorry
     These four simple statements become four incredibly profound expressions of love and service to self and to others.  Easy and effective.  No one ever need to know you are using the Ho’Oponopono to help heal yourself or a relationship.  Dr.  Ihaleakala Hew Len used this method to heal criminally insane patients he had never met.  He read their patient files and performed this healing ritual for each of them.  The results were incredible!
     It is my understanding this healing works regardless of the order of the statements said.  It is more important that we acknowledge each step and use the verbiage to clear the energy connected to it.  The order of the statements matters less than the awareness of  them.
     So, put on your thinking caps and start a list.  Do you have physical issues your need to heal?  How about:  Relationships with others; your finances; your health; your feelings about yourself; your feelings about others;  your prejudices; your anger/hurt/hatred…   Get started now making miracles  happen in your life and allow the ripple effect of your Ho’Oponopono to happen!

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Feb 1

Passion for Peace?

by Barbette Spitler

Peace wayne dyerAs each election year approaches, I am fascinated to witness the changes in personality of so many people.  Often, people who seem kind and thoughtful and even generous are… until someone with different political views joins the discussion.  I am amazed and disheartened by those who will  go out of their way to make fun of or put down the other side.  Not the “the other side” but the actual people who represent that other side!  Half of the country has hateful names for Republicans and half of the country has hateful names for Democrats.  And often, those same people, when not talking politics, say they want peace, harmony and all good things.  But if you truly want peace and harmony, how do you get there by bashing another for their political preferences?  How is it okay to demean, dehumanize and demoralize another human being in one breath and then talk about how peace and harmony should reign in another breath?  There is no commonality between the two.

We can’t get to “good” when we keep focusing on the negative.  Whatever the politicians do or don’t do…   We forget that WE – the people – are the ones who can make the difference.  Not by pointing fingers but by coming together with a positive focus and then… we the people, make it happen.

We have become a nation that tolerates it’s ignorance, indifference, insensitivity and it’s inertia! We spend our time pointing fingers at who is responsible for what.  We have lost our focus and what is best for us as a nation.  We’ve let the politicians decide what is in our best interests as fed by the many lobbyists who wine and dine them.  Is that okay with you???  Are you really satisfied with your government choosing your life and lifestyle for you?

     We have the opportunity to join forces as the people of our nation have in the past.  We can turn off the reality shows,  celebrity news and the 24 hr news channels, and turn on our passion for what’s right for our great nation.  We can join together and focus our energy to improve our food supply; improve the health of our people; and restore our faith in our country.  But we will never get there wasting our time, energy and efforts, bashing the other political party, pointing fingers and placing blame.  I believe, we can best move forward by stepping past the political differences and stop focusing on how we got here!  We simply must look beyond the how and why and look forward to what can we do about it?
     When we are looking for positive solutions, the energy toward positive solutions raises.  Raising the energy also raises the awareness and thus raises the passion for it!  Imagine – a passion for PEACE!    Can you just imagine how it will be to live in a country with a passion for peace?! It would bring our nation together to create a better future for ourselves, our children and our grandchildren.  Let’s do it! Let’s clear out the negativity, hatred,  racism and tolerance.  Let’s bring in peace, harmony, understanding and acceptance.
     What great things about our country and it’s people are you passionate about? What are you willing to speak up for?  What are you willing to do to improve our great nation?  And let’s get to it!

worrld peace

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Jan 29

Mess or Memories? Develop their Creativity or Stinkin’ Thinkin’ !

by Barbette Spitler
    child painting mess A young child is happily painting.  Creating a beautiful, majestic work of art.  Every color is exquisite.  Every stroke is perfectly placed.  There is no greater joy in childhood than seeing their work of art when this creativity is unleashed, uninhibited, and fully executed.  It is beautiful…. and it is good.
     Until Mom discovers this work of art has been created with her make up, tooth paste and powder… AND… the canvas is the bathroom wall.  “What were you thinking?” Mom screams at the child.  “You ruined my make up.  You messed up the entire bathroom!!  Oh My Gosh!  I can’t believe you would do this to me!  It’s an awful mess I have to clean up!  Get out of here and never do this again!”
     Horrified, terrified, and sobbing, the child runs away to their room.  The child learned, very quickly, his/her creativity is messy and ruins things. Because the mother was so upset, the child believes they should never express their creativity again because it is so upsetting.  They made an immediate agreement within to silence their creativity.
     Sound familiar?  It should.  For most of us, we were either the receiver of such a message as a child OR we sent the message to a child.  Yes, I know…   cleaning up the after affects of such creativity is work and certainly not fun.  Yet, cleaning up the walls and replacing cosmetics are a distant second to restoring the wounded spirit of the child.  Yet, which one do you suppose gets the most attention?  The mess you can see or the spirit you cannot?
     Because of an incident like the one described, the child grows up suppressing their creativity.  Maybe another child was singing at the top of their lungs while Dad was driving the car.  When Dad has had enough he shouts at the child to “shut up already… you don’t even know the right words!”.  Something that simple can cause the child to suppress their singing.  More importantly, they may also begin to wonder what other parts of their personality are not acceptable to others.  If it’s not accepted by their own parents then….  WOW… now what?
     THAT’s how Stinkin’ Thinkin’ starts.  In childhood!  Parents don’t purposely stifle their children’s creativity nor do they realize how their words can be so harmful or cause long term damage.  Most often, they are just expressing their own frustration or anger or any other emotion.
     One day, when my twin boys were young toddlers, they became way too quiet in the bedroom.  I sneaked up the stairs and listened.  They were busy doing something and then giggling.  Ever so quietly I sneaked and when I saw them I nearly cried!  They had opened the door to the attic and found the stacks of 500 and 1000 piece puzzles.  Twelve  puzzle boxes were strewn all over the floor but the puzzle pieces were in a HUGE pile in the center of their room.  They dumped each box of puzzle pieces in the pile and tossed the box aside.  They played in the pile of pieces like it was a pile of leaves on the lawn. They were so happy!
     I was tired!  With four boys, (2 toddlers, 1 teen and 1 tween)  I was not at all interested in cleaning up 12 boxes of puzzle pieces!  I just sat there, and in my misery, I started to cry.  Soon, though, their giggles brought me back to reality.  They were so happy.  I slowly rounded the corner from the stairs and laid in the doorway.  When they saw me they were even happier!  “Look Mommy,” as Britt grabbed up two handfuls of pieces and threw them up and then danced underneath the falling pieces.  Puzzle pieces were EVERYWHERE!  I asked them… “So…. what are we doing here?”  Britt exclaimed, “It’s a fire!”  He grabbed more handfuls of pieces and up into the air they went. Cody ran back into the attic to get the last box and before I could say a word, another 500 pieces landed in the puzzle-piece-fire.  I wasn’t sure exactly what to do.  So… I said, “Interesting…”  I then decided to distract them and totally avoid the clean up until later.  No yelling.  No punishment.  I really didn’t know what to do.
     When Daddy came home, I suggested the twins show Daddy what they had created today.  They couldn’t have been happier to show him!  They bounded up those stairs and started the tossing frenzy again.  Daddy looked at me with a questioning look… as if to say… you let them do this?  I signed and shook my head.  For the record, did have the boys help us separate the pieces into several piles based on the color of the back of the pieces.  Then, the parents took on the task of getting every single puzzle piece back into the proper box.  Yep.  We rebuilt every puzzle to make sure each box was correct.  Every box was then sealed with tape and ALL the boxes were sold in the next garage sale!
     Imagine if we had handled the situation differently.  What if I had yelled at them for the mess and belittled them because of the work they created for me and their Daddy?  What if…??  What stinkin’ thinkin’ could have resulted.  We will never know. But I know for sure… children will respond to the messages we send them.  They will close up for self protection.  OR they will blossom when supported.
     Do you remember a situation where you wish your parents had supported you?  Do you remember an event that initiated your stinkin’ thinkin’ about yourself?  Have a story about something your children did and how you handled it?  Please share here.
children making memories mess

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Nov 30

When People Show You Who They Are…..

by Barbette Spitler

20130519-sss-maya-angelou-quotes-1-600x411

Many years ago, I was in the front row to hear Maya Angelou!  Her words of wisdom were profound and her presentation was delightful, thought provoking and…. for me… quite moving.  She said some things that the audience found humorous and other statements that were met with the silence of significant thought.   Other bits of wisdom were met with quiet conversations and remarks spoken in whispers.

One of her famous quotes came after she told a story.  The story ended with her looking out into the audience and stating, “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.”   I remember thinking to myself…”Well, that’s not fair!  People can change.”  I am one of those people!  I was an unhappy teenager.  I was angry about a multitude of things and was quite sure my entire future was doomed to be filled with continued trauma and drama.  But, I changed.  I changed my attitude, my perspective and my outlook and everything improved!  Because it happened for me, I believe everyone wants to be happy and everyone will look for a pathway to make it so.  Right??  Doesn’t everyone desire to be happy?  Isn’t everyone willing to make changes to achieve a greater level of happiness??

Over the years after the event, I looked over my notes often.  I agreed with her on every level and every point, except that one statement.  I always believed people can and want to improve their life and their outlook.  I had a fundamental belief that no one truly wants to hurt or harm another.  I believed it is our responsibility to and for others, to believe they can change and to support them as they do.  It’s part of the reason I became a Health & Wellness Life Coach…. to assist those who are ready and willing and to provide the tools to make it easier and more efficient to find and keep a positive perspective.

Recently, I’ve revisited this pearl of wisdom from Maya.  I’ve had to make a few changes to my belief system.  I recognize that everyone can improve and have a metamorphosis which leads them to create a life of wonder and happiness and joy.  I also recognize, for many people, it’s easier to blame others, complain and stay right where they are!  And finally, I’ve had to realize that there are those who will give lip service to all the “right” things and their actions tell quite the different story.  Actions speak LOUDER than words ever will.  When the actions are not in alignment with the verbiage – listen to the actions/behavior.  What people do and how they do it is more expressive of their intention than their words.

When people show you who they are, do you believe them the first time? Do you allow for the possibility they may change and become  more focused on love and service to others rather than self-service.  Or do you take your first impression of them and assign it to them permanently?  Do you believe people can change and improve?

I think we have to be mindful of what people show us and allow for it to improve.  But don’t assume it will  …. and don’t be disappointed when they show you who they really are!  We all have free will and get to choose our attitude and behaviors.  We can’t be disappointed if we have no expectation of another person’s way of being.  Thus we cannot be disappointed when someone shows us who they really are….

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Nov 10

What is Energy Medicine?

by Barbette Spitler

400_Human_Energy_Field_2I get a lot of questions about energy medicine…  In a nutshell….  Energy Medicine is based on physics rather than biochemistry.  Physics is the study of energy.  You remember from high school?  Physics does not override biochem.  It DRIVES it!  Biology and Chemistry behave according to the laws of physics.  The human body is made of energy.  ALL matter has energy!  IF you have ever had an x-ray, ultrasound, CT scan, MRI, EKG, EEG, EMG, laser surgery, etc… they are all done using energy!

Conventional medicine treats the symptoms of a singular body system.  My friend, Christina Ross,compares western medicine to auto mechanics, plumbers and electricians.  It’s a GREAT analogy.  The human body has bones (structure), digestive system (plumbing), and nervous system (electrical).  Western medicine treats the body systems separately.  If we have a heart problem we see a cardiologist.  If we have a stomach problem we see a gastroenterologist.  If we have a structure problem we see an orthopedist.  Pharmaceuticals (medications) affect the chemical signals in the body and all medications have side effects meaning they affect (mostly negatively) other body systems because they interfere with the chemical signals of the body.  Treating the body as if it is just a sum of it’s individual parts is not only inefficient it is often detrimental to the body as a whole.

Energy medicine recognizes ALL body systems are connected and strives to harmonize the entire energy system.  When the body is in energetic balance, (then and only then) does the body heal itself.  Energy medicine works with the electromagnetic signals of the body.  Since every cell, tissue, muscle, bone, organ, blood…  every part of the body is energy and therefore sending electromagnetic signals throughout the body – harmonizing them to balance is the most efficient way to heal the body.  Since every part of the human body is interconnected and integrated with every other part of the human body – achieving balance in a body system also means achieving energetic balance to the whole.

In our culture, we think nothing of getting an X-ray nor do we understand fully how the energy of it works.  We get an ultrasound and only care about the results and nothing about the energetics of how it works.  We see our heart rate blipping on the monitor screen and don’t understand the science behind the graph. We are just happy to see the activity that indicates we have a beating heart!  Measuring the brain waves (EEG) is yet another tool to measure energy waves and determine the brain activity.  Each of these examples are an example of using energy for testing or reading the electrical signals within the body.  We use these terms nearly every day yet we know little to nothing about the science of these tools which measure the energy within the body.  But we do not question the validity!

Conventional medicine is newer in comparison to energy medicine.  Pharmaceuticals have only been around for the last 60 years.  Yet, energy medicine and hands on healing have been see in drawings dating back to 2700 BC.    It is well studied and again I remind you…. there are no negative side effects.  I’ve been told only Jesus heals…  I submit to you that is wholly inaccurate!  Every human body has the ability to heal itself.  You have healed yourself of cuts, abrasions, broken bones, and many illnesses including influenza, colds, gastroenteritis, headaches, and many other interruptions of the human system.  No medicine can cure you.  No doctor can heal you.  You heal yourself.  Healing is made easier and much more efficient when you treat the body as a whole, recognize and harmonize the human energy system, and only use medications when truly necessary.  Fortunately, medications are seldom truly necessary!   Thankfully, we have the scientific understanding of energy medicine and it is available at our fingertips!

human-energy-field

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Aug 25

Change My Friends!?!?

by Barbette Spitler

84633959afc236bcad8429b8235015adChange My Friends??  But ONE friendship can change your whole world!

This weekend I heard a quote that caused me to pause a moment.  I wrote it down.  It was thought provoking.  I’ve been pondering it all weekend.  “If you can’t change your friends, it’s time to change your friends.”

I am an RN of 25 years who shifted to health & wellness advocate.  My career is health promotion and disease prevention.  I encourage people to take action to clean up their diets and learn to fuel their bodies with quality nutrition.  I educate people about nature and nurture.  I introduce people to holistic and complimentary supplements and modalities which will enhance their health and wellness.  My wish for everyone is the best physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health possible.  Yet, I recognize I am considered an odd ball in my circle of friends and family.  I am often teased and many poke fun at me for my beliefs, my suggestions and my lifestyle.  I am sometimes disappointed when I cannot affect change with/for them.  I am aware some of my friends and family ignore me,  thinking I am just sharing my opinions.  However… I am schooled in nutrition.  I have researched nutritional supplements and holistic methods.  Thirty years ago my opinion was that food only needed to taste good!  Fast forward through degree programs and research and I KNOW for certain, food is fuel!  It is the major ingredient in our physical performance, our mental capabilities and our emotional balance.  No Oreo or Dorito can provide that fuel and we are silly if we think it can or will!

I know people in my circle who don’t want to believe that food is the major player in allowing dis-ease or  promoting good health.  But change friends just because they don’t think the same as I?  Change friends because they smoke or drink or carry around an extra 50 pounds?  Change friends because I can’t influence them enough to want to enhance or improve their health?

Twice I was over 200#.  Once was while pregnant with twins.  I have carried extra weight and yo-yo dieted most of my life.  I understand the addiction to sugar because I lived it.  I attended Carbohydrates Anonymous (which I think is now known as Food Addicts Anonymous).  I was addicted to Diet Pepsi.  I totally understand the issues!  AND…I am a nurse with over 25 years experience in ER, ICU, Home Care and Hospice.  I have seen the affects of drug interactions, recreational drug use, excessive alcohol consumption, smoking, and poor food choices.  We humans want to think food is about “tastes good” rather than “fuels well”.  We want to ignore the connection to what we put in our physical gas tank affects our physical, mental and emotional performance.  Egads… how do we not SEE the connection??  For a long time, I didn’t!  Yet, change my friends because they see things differently?  Wouldn’t that be like changing my friends because they have different religious or political beliefs?  I’m still pondering this….

I asked Damn-Near-Perfect (my husband of nearly 32 years) for his thoughts.  His words of wisdom….”When you surround yourself with people who don’t believe you, don’t “get” you, and don’t want to hear what you have to offer, it hurts your heart and makes you doubt your place on the planet.  When you surround yourself with people who think like you do, you will never again doubt yourself and what you do.  ”   WOW.  WOW.  WOW.

Deep Breath.  A few tears.  And now…..

Changes Ahead!!

Changes next exit

 

 

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Jun 27

Same-Sex-Marriage Causes the Decline of America?

by Barbette Spitler

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Why are so many American’s  upset about the Supreme Court Ruling about Same-Sex-Marriage.  If you aren’t Gay… why do you care?  If you stand in your Christian faith, know this….  Absolutely nothing has changed in the Bible. God’s law (or your interpretation of  it) is exactly the same as it was before the ruling. We are still responsible to live as God requests and to teach our children to do the same.  We are still responsible to be kind and considerate.  We are still responsible to be of love and service to our fellow man and spread love and peace throughout the land!

There are many, many, MANY things that are legal but not necessarily Godly and certainly not considered Gods Law.  But just because they are legal, doesn’t mean you have to embrace them and incorporate them into your lifestyle.  Strip clubs are legal.  Pornography is legal.  Alcohol is legal.  Sex out of wedlock is legal.  Having children out of wedlock is legal.  Divorce is legal! Having sex with your married friend is legal.  Gambling is legal.  And now, same-sex-marriage is legal.  Whoop-di-do!  If you don’t like it, join me on the sideline of  “I’m not gonna do that!”
Like all the above, just because they are legal doesn’t mean you have to like them, do them or support them.  And I’m pretty sure this is not the “beginning of the end for America”.  Other countries have already recognized same-sex-marriage and they didn’t implode.  Surprisingly, they haven’t made bestiality legal either (Oh the incredible things people say from fear and intolerance).  And before you spout off about how this nation was built on Christian faith and values, remember this….  our forefathers annihilated the natives of this land and then enslaved millions.  There was nothing Christian in any of that!
In America’s history, there have been several major events which caused division in the nation.  When those events were settled, the decision was sure to cause the decline of America.  The Civil War….  Slaves were freed in 1863…. Women fought for the right to vote for over 50 years….  Prohibition in the 1920’s… Mixed race marriages… I could go on but you get the idea.  Each of these events (and more) have divided this nation.  Yet, none of them have caused it’s demise.  And we need to step back from the ridiculousness of assuming a “law of the land” or “mans law” will ever dominate above all.
As we are being so focused on this human issue at hand, we seem to have forgotten that each of us was a NON-gender spirit (soul) before our entry on the planet and we will again be NON-gender when we leave it.  I am sure  you have noticed, we leave our physical body behind like an old robe.  Do you suppose our souls gather around and speculate on the earthly laws?  I’m thinking our souls look back at the earth and wonder why we wasted so much time focused on limiting one another instead of raising the level of all humanity to love and service for others.
Ponder this….  what if all the energy created in social media against the Supreme Court Ruling had been focused on healing the sick, promoting wellness, feeding the hungry, or saving lives.  Now THAT would be unity vs division.  It would be love and service rather than judgment and condemnation.  It would be Grace rather than intolerance.  It would be miraculous, indeed!

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May 31

“UNFRIEND” Means Much More

by Barbette Spitler

unfriend

I read a FaceBook post from a young lady who said a close family member had “unfriended” her.  As I pondered this, I was mindful, there are always two sides to every story.  I wondered about the other side of the story.  I don’t remember any of her posts being inappropriate, so I looked through them to see if I missed something.  I had not.  Not one of her posts crossed any type of ethical or moral lines. Not even borderline.  What type of message did the family member intend to send to her and why?

I was recently “unfriended” by a family member.  When I asked about it, they indicated my FB posts were too self serving in nature and they weren’t interested in reading them.  As is the nature with social media, we share our joy and happiness. We share our events, our excitement and our thoughts. Interestingly enough, also available with social media are ways to scroll past the posts you do not want to read.  Similar to the old fashioned way of reading a newspaper or magazine.  If you don’t want to read something… you don’t.  You simply turn the page.  When something on television doesn’t resonate with you, change the channel or turn it off.  FaceBook has this feature where you can scroll past a person’s posts.  OR you can take their posts out of your newsfeed so you don’t even see what they share.  Especially if they are fanatical about politics!  You can turn off notifications as well.  It’s that easy. That is…IF it is truly about the content of their posts that offends you.
Social media is an interesting facet of current times.  People use this platform in many different ways.  Some use it as their political microphone.  Others use it to support and advertise their business.  Many people use it as a way to follow friends and family activities yet never post their own.  Just yesterday I heard two people chatting, never having met until then, indicating they felt they knew each other because of their connections on social media.  For each of us, our intention to use social media may differ.  There is no right or wrong way to use it (illegal, immoral, unethical uses not included).  And for each of us, we have the right and free will to read what we want, scroll past what we choose not to see and seek out what we enjoy reading more about.  When we disagree with another’s viewpoints, we can easily ignore their posts.  Really, it’s just that easy.  Even the political posts!
When we click on the option to “UNFRIEND” we are doing more than limiting our view of their posts/newsfeed.  We are sending a message that cannot be unheard.  We are making a statement TO the individual that goes far beyond social media. Explore your true intention before unfriending someone.  Decide if it is really about the posts or is it something else.  Wouldn’t it be wiser and more helpful to share your thoughts or concerns with the person rather than sending them a message you can never undo.   Is it worth damaging a long term relationship over a social media post?  And if it’s not about the social media platform, then determine what it is really about and work to resolve it.  Life is too short and relationships are too precious to click that button and send the huge message that goes along with it.

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Jan 3

Pt 2 “Mom, You’re registered for a full marathon!” No way! Not me!! Never!

by Barbette Spitler
Mary and I rocking the half marathon! Finished in 3 hours 5 minutes!

Mary and I rocking the half marathon! Finished in 3 hours 5 minutes!

Two weeks before the Air Force Marathon, September 2010, my husband and I visited our Air Force son, Cody, at his base in Biloxi, MI.  While there, I just had to run along the flight lines.  It was so cool!!  I was really enjoying the jog/fast walk intervals.  (I never really understood the difference between jog and run, but I am pretty sure as slow as I was going and the minimal distance I covered each time…it was jogging.)  While we visited, Cody surprised me with the announcement he was coming home to run the FULL Air Force Marathon along with several of his friends.  I was so excited to know they would all be on the course and having a new experience together!  But I was in NO WAY interested in ever doing that!

During the half marathon, I had to make a quick potty stop.  I drink plenty of water and I didn’t know to plan around the pee stops.  There was a long line and it put me about 8 minutes behind Mary.  I needed to catch up!  So, I jogged until I found her.  I don’t know what the distance actually was but I smiled often as I realized I was actually jogging a portion of a half marathon.  I caught up with her and later, we crossed that finish line together and with great big smiles on our faces. We averaged 13 1/2 min/miles  for the first 5-6 miles.  We rocked!!  I loved every minute and knew I wanted to do it again the next year.  My son and his friends finished the full marathon.  They were sore, they struggled up and down the stairs.  I giggled at their misery.  And I knew, I never needed to do that…ever!!  Why??  Running (or jogging) 26.2 miles is just crazy!  And look at how much pain it causes!  Dah!  Why would anyone sign up for that?

During the Christmas season, Cody announced he was being deployed to Iraq for most of 2011.  He also announced that my Christmas gift was registration for the 2011 Air Force FULL Marathon.  He promised he would train while in Iraq and he would be home in time to run the full marathon WITH me.  My response….”What in our entire history together would ever give you the impression I wanted to or COULD do a full marathon!!??”  I was shocked, scared, stunned, defiant, and confused all at the same time.  But he was serious!  His answer, “Mom, you fast-walked a half marathon already.  Train to run a half marathon and even if you have to walk the rest, you will have finished a full marathon.”   He talked.  He coached.  He promised.  He even drew out a plan for how I could achieve it.  He deployed and I started training.  Why?  Because I was determined to make him proud!  I was excited he would be there with me. I wasn’t going to let him down. I knew the sacrifice he was making on this deployment.  All I had to do was jog.  So, I took the training very seriously.  I surprised myself!  My intervals lengthened.  My determination heightened.  My confidence increased.  My excitement escalated.  He coaches me very well!  From Iraq, he coached me how to run up and down the hills which was something I struggled with and avoided.  He taught me how the mind plays tricks on us while we run, but how we can play tricks right back.

Cody returned from Iraq about 10 days before the marathon.  He knew there was no way he could in-process to the base and make it up to Ohio in time to run the marathon.  What??  NO!!  I was terrified.  Now I would be alone!  All my training runs had been alone but with the knowledge Cody would be with me at the marathon.  Anxiety set it.  Then…. I had this thought!  Billy Ray Cyrus had this wonderful show called, “Surprise Homecoming”.  I just knew Cody was really going to be at the marathon!   I started having these fleeting thoughts and daydreams he would be there and at the finish line.  It would be him who would put the medal around my neck.  And….it was those thoughts that sustained me during the entire marathon.  What a great show it would be….  Mom runs marathon for son.  Son shows up from deployment and surprises Mom at the finish line.  Whenever I felt overwhelmed with the remaining distance to run, I would think about that finish line and Cody waiting.  And I’d be re-inspired and re-energized.

As I rounded that final curve, ran under the wings of those magnificent planes, and headed to the finish line I was almost smiling.  I knew it was almost over and I had done it.  But I also knew Cody would be waiting.  I saw the lines of officers handing out the medals as the runners came across the finish line.  I saw a young man in fatigues peak out from one of the officers and my heart jumped!  Cody!?!?  I headed to that chute.  As I got closer, the young man peaked again.  This time I was close enough to see his face.  NO!!  That’s not Cody!!  I cross the finish line, get my medal and look for my husband.  His smile melts my heart and I hold back the tears.  HE is so proud I can feel it.  We hug!  I am shocked I did it.  I actually ran a full 26.2 marathon  Who does that?  Who turns 50 and then decides to learn to run and then runs a marathon!  He tells me to call Cody and let him know I finished.  He hands me the phone but I can’t talk.  Now the tears flow unrestrained. Within moments all four of our boys are calling or texting with congratulations.  Both Cody and his twin brother, Britt, are ecstatic!  They make me cry because they are so proud of me.

I ran a marathon!  Really!!!

Oh…and that young man who was peaking out from behind the officer…he made the news!  He was waiting for his girlfriend to cross the finish line.  When she did, he proposed!  Again, my heart melted!

 

First marathon! 26.2 miles! Sept 2011

First marathon! 26.2 miles! Sept 2011

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Nov 3

Brittany Maynard and Lauren Hill. Same direction… two very different paths… Live it or Leave it?

by Barbette Spitler
Lauren Hill, 19. Also diagnosed with terminal brain cancer

Lauren Hill, 19. Also diagnosed with terminal brain cancer

Brittany Maynard, 29 diagnosed with terminal brain cancer

Brittany Maynard, 29 diagnosed with terminal brain cancer

By now you’ve heard about Brittany Maynard.  She is the 29 year old woman who was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer.  She moved to a state that allows for Death with Dignity, a legal form of assisted suicide.  She created a bucket list of wishes and scheduled her departure date.  She was determined to end the journey before a possible massive stroke or other complications could erupt.  Although there was no promise of these complications, she didn’t want to experience them or have her family witness them. She checked off the items on her bucket list and did so with gusto and dignity!   She completed her death this past weekend.   She chose to leave it when the timing was right for her.  She prepared herself and her family.  She planned for it.  She chose when and how and did it on her terms.

Have you also heard about Lauren Hill?  She is a 19 year old Cincinnati woman who was also diagnosed with terminal brain cancer.  She is progressing such that her dream of playing college basketball (she is on the team with first game only weeks away) was literally disappearing with each passing week.  Her coordination is affected such that she can no longer dribble the ball well.  Her right arm doesn’t always follow her commands making it more difficult to shoot baskets.  It is expected she will be unable to play basketball by the time the season officially starts.
Lauren chose to live it.  To make the best of life every day she has yet to live.  A few weeks ago the NCAA granted special permission to allow an early game so Lauren could live her dream and play college basketball before she dies.  A death she knows is soon.  A death she knows could be clouded with complications. A death she knows could be painful.  Complications or no, the journey will still be short.  She isn’t focused on what difficulties could await her.  She chose instead to focus on the here and now and enjoy every moment as if it could be her last.  There are times when Lauren is so weak she cannot stand, let alone run.  Yet, she is present and engaged in the process of living.
I have been at the beside of many people as they lay dying.  Death and dying is the focus for a hospice nurse.  And during my years as an emergency room nurse, I saw death experiences from car accidents and shootings to overdoses and massive heart attacks.  Dying is something every single one of us must look forward to.  It will happen…there is no way around it!  Yet, so many of us don’t want to think about it.  Or worse, we don’t plan for it.
Both of these young women were delivered a diagnosis none of us ever want to hear, terminal, inoperable, unfixable, brain cancer.  Both of them chose how they wanted to live out their remaining days on earth.  Both of them brought their journey public and both of them allowed us to experience a wee bit of their journey with them. Isn’t it interesting their journeys paralleled in many ways yet they chose opposite endings for their life’s song.   Do you know which you would choose if this became the next chapter in your book of life?

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