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BarbetteSpitler.com

Holistic Health & Wellness Coach

Oct 15

Ohh… To be a plumber…

by Barbette Spitler

fixing-a-leaky-shower-faucet_87807702.s300x300   If I was a plumber and knew my friends, family, and neighbors had leaky faucets, I would be willing to help them.  I would shake my head in bewilderment if they didn’t ask me to help.  And I would be disappointed for them to have leaky faucets.  Why?  Because leaky faucets mean they have water to clean up or possibly water damage.  An undetected leak would also include mold growth and damage.  Leaky faucets also result in a higher cost in water bills.  And it means a waste of a precious resource.

I am not a plumber.  I am a health, life and performance coach.  My passion is health promotion and disease prevention.  I teach people how to build a strong immune system.  I encourage people to healthier food and lifestyle choices for better well-being and longevity.  I help people heal themselves from illness or chronic disease.  And I guide people to discover the connection between their mind, body and spirit.  Like a plumber, I am willing to help others to repair their issues and improve their circumstances.  Like a plumber, I am bewildered when people are suffering  (physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually) and don’t ask for help.  Why?  Because whether we are in a health crisis or just looking for better ways to promote our health and wellness, we can waste precious time and energy seeking information and answers.  We look for a quick fix for the symptoms rather than a long term resolution to the initiating problem.  It’s like wrapping a towel around the leaky faucet.  The towel will absorb the water for awhile but the leak remains.  Eventually, the wet towel becomes part of the problem, too

Symptom suppression is the same.  While suppressing the symptoms, we are not resolving the problem.  This means longer healing times, IF healing occurs at all.  It means possible further damage caused by the side effects of the symptom suppression medications.   And,  it means the initial problem continues to produce the same or similar symptoms because it is not resolved. Symptoms are actually messages to the brain/body that a problem exits.  The body will continue to send the messages as long as the problem exists. That means the symptoms continue or increase in intensity or duration, which means more medication is needed to suppress them.  It’s an interesting and complex cycle which often becomes a cyclone of symptoms which leads to more and different medications to address or suppress the symptoms.

Sadly, I shake my head in bewilderment wondering why anyone would want to continue on that path, especially when other options exist. Yet, I witness the journey for many,  If I was a plumber, their continued leaky faucets would be disappointing for me to witness .  As a health and life coach, their suffering is painful for me to witness.   Yes… there are times I wish I was a plumber.

 

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Oct 10

Do you Hear Through Your History?

by Barbette Spitler
 Kids-upset-at-each-otherRecently, while working with a teenage client, she shared a text conversation that was pertinent to the event she was processing.  As she read her part of the text conversation aloud, she used a calm, soft voice and displayed a sincere demeanor.  While reading the other person’s texts in the conversation, her voice was filled with attitude and her demeanor was condescending and rude.  I found it intriguing how she was using voice inflections and intonations as well as other non-verbals to communicate in a conversation that clearly has none of those as options.  When I questioned her about it, she was startled.  She didn’t realize she was doing it at first.  As we discussed it, she stated, “But that’s how she talks to me when she’s mad”.  The text conversation did not indicate that the other was annoyed or angry.  In further exploration, we discovered she was assuming how the other would be speaking.

     In my practice I always recommend conversations around deep or serious topics occur in person or by phone (if you cannot do it in person).  In person, you can see, sense and experience the conversation and leave nothing to interpretation.  You can ask clarifying questions.  You have the full focus and attention of the person you are communicating with (yes….insist on it!)  And it makes it more difficult for you, the listener, to hear the other through your own history.
     Hearing through your history limits the brilliance of the other’s message to you.  It means you are filtering their words through what you surmise they mean.  When we “think” we know what they mean we are guessing which means we are hearing through our history and not hearing clearly.  The brilliance (and yes I mean, the excellence of or the magnificence of their message) is lost on you.  You miss it because you are hearing from your own experiences and beliefs.
     The text conversation my client shared was a fabulous example.   Because she was hearing through her history, she was missing that her friend was actually sharing her desire to return to the friendship they once shared.  Her friend was literally opening herself up, being vulnerable, and hoping to reconnect.  My young client was wishing for the same.  However, her past hurts had accumulated to such a degree she was hearing only complaints and attacks.  She couldn’t hear the vulnerability and hope her friend was expressing.  I asked her if I could read the messages out loud to her with a different perspective.  She allowed me.  When I was finished… she cried.  We read the same words…. one was heard through her history.  The other was heard from an open heart.
     Hear with an open heart and you will hear love and compassion.  Hear through your history and you will hear…… your history!

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Oct 1

Passion or Politics

by Barbette Spitler
political yin yang
As each election year approaches, I am fascinated to witness the changes in personality of so many people.  Some people seem kind and thoughtful and even generous until someone with different political views joins the discussion.  Some people with differing political views go out of their way to make fun of or put down the other side.  Half of the country has hateful names for Republicans and half of the country has hateful names for Democrats.  And often, those same people, when not talking politics, say they want peace, hamony and all good things.  But if you truly want peace and harmony, how do you get there by bashing another for their political preferences?  How is it okay to demean, dehumanize and demoralize another human being in one breath and then talk about how peace and harmony should reign in another. There is no commonality between the two.
We can’t get to “good” when we keep focusing on the negative the politicians do and forget that WE – the people – are the ones who can make the difference.  Not by pointing fingers but by coming together with a positive focus and then, we the people, make it happen.  We have become a nation that tolerates it’s ignorance, indifference, insensitivity and it’s inertia!  We spend our time pointing fingers at who is responsible for what.  We have lost our focus and what is best for us as a nation.  We’ve let the politicians decide our best interests as fed by the many lobbyists who wine and dine them.
We have the opportunity to join forces as the people of our nation have in the past.  We can turn off the reality shows, and the celebrity news, and turn on our passion for what’s right for our great nation.  We can join together and focus our energy to improve our food supply; improve the health of our people; and restore our faith in our country.  But we will never get there wasting our time, energy and efforts, bashing the other political party, pointing fingers and placing blame.  I believe, we can best move forward by stepping past the political differences and looking beyond how we got here.  And bring our nation together to create a better future for ourselves, our children and our grandchildren.
What great things about our country and it’s people are you passionate about?  What are you willing to speak up for?  What are you willing to do to improve our great nation?  And let’s get to it!

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Aug 25

Is Your “Vehicle” in balance?

by Barbette Spitler
Lions chasing car with flat tireMost Americans take better care of their cars than they do of their physical body.  We fuel our car with the right fuel.  We monitor the fluid levels and perform regular oil changes.  We keep the tires inflated within the limits suggested.  We know we must do these things in order to keep the car performing / functioning properly.

Now, think of your body as a vehicle.  The four tires represent our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.  When our tires are out of balance, we feel unsafe, out of control, and unable to maintain our own direction.  Over inflated or under inflated, the imbalance is noticed and our ability to maintain our path is compromised.  It is the same when the four aspects of self are out of balance.  If we are physically fit but block our emotions, we are out of balance.  If we are overworking our mental aspects as well as overtaxing our physical body, we are so out of balance we are headed for an illness which forces us to rest.  Those who are focused on vanity and material things are typically out of balance with their spirituality.  Each aspect of our well-being is necessary for us to maintain balance and forward momentum.  Each tire is critical to the balance of the vehicle.  The loss of one tire, or the loss of energy in one aspect, may leave us sitting on the side of the road.
In my practice I see the lessons of balance as being the most common life lesson.  Balancing between work and play; seriousness and fun; hoarding and squandering; generosity and greed; compassion and indifference.  When we seek to find balance, like a vehicle,  we are more stable and we move forward with ease of flow.  We operate more consistently.  We find compassion more easily.  And we give and receive love more freely and openly.
How are you keeping your life in balance?  Do you recognize the four aspects of well-being (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual) as being equally important?  Or do you spend more time and energy focused on one aspect and ignore the others.  What activities do you perform to keep your vehicle running easily, effortlessly, and in balance?  I’d like to hear your thoughts…..

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Jul 20

Stop Saying Sorry ??

by Barbette Spitler

Pantene Sorry 

(Click the words above to see the commercial)

Pantene’s new TV commercial tells us to “stop being sorry!”  Their message is that we say “sorry”  too often and it’s become useless verbiage.  They tell us to “Be Strong and Shine”. Indicating that we are weak when we say “sorry”.

Overused and meaningless? Is it?  I was disappointed when I saw the commercial.  In a society where we are already divided by race and religion (one only has to observe people for a short time to know this remains true), now we are suggesting common courtesy is overrated?  I think NOT!

Since I first saw the commercial, I have been paying closer attention to my use of “sorry” and I’ve been more watchful of how others use it too.  What an interesting study and so far I’m pleased to report the results have been perfectly positive.

While on a crowded dance floor, I heard many renditions of “sorry” as dancers bumped others.  Even with a language barrier, there is no mistaking the acknowledgement of “ooops I didn’t mean to bump you”.  There were smiles of acknowledgement and acceptance and returns of the apology.  In the airport, I again witnessed multiple uses of “sorry” as luggage trailed in the wake of travelers and often got in the way of others.  And when carry on bags bump passengers already seated, the acknowledgement of that bump is greatly appreciated.  I could go on and on.  The words, “I’m sorry”, can be used to mean so much more than just “oops” too.   A malpractice attorney once told me that so many medical malpractice lawsuits could be resolved or avoided initially if there had just been an apology!  And then there is the driving experience!  How many ways can we say “sorry “to other drivers while in a moving vehicle with windows closed.  Many times a simple head nod acknowledges and resolves.

It is in our recognition of others as human beings that we acknowledge their existence and their place to BE.  Apologies let the receiver know they matter…they have value! When we say we are sorry, we are stronger than ever.  Why?  Because it means we have let down our defenses, reduced our offenses,  and chose to recognize and acknowledge another.  The choice to honor and recognize another is from strength.  So yes, be strong and shine.  But stop saying sorry?  NEVER!!

How do you say, “I’m sorry!”

 

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Jun 3

Been Squeezed Lately

by Barbette Spitler

 

Squeeze_Orange-When an orange is squeezed, it’s juice comes out. Regardless of what squeezed it – the juice is based on the fruit itself. If it’s sour, the juice is sour. If it’s sweet, the juice is sweet. And if it’s rotten, the juice is rotten. Regardless of what squeezed it!   

People are the same. What comes out when squeezed is what’s waiting inside. The difference is, people blame what squeezed them for how they respond. They justify their reaction to the squeeze by saying it is because of the squeeze.
Several years ago, Survivor participant Jerri Manthey, spoke about her time on Survivor.  She remarked that no one could truly be themselves in the stress of that situation.  I remember commenting to her through the TV, ” Actually, Jerri, It is your truest, deepest self that is exposed under pressure!”
In my nursing career, I have had the pleasure of working over 20 years in ER, ICU, home care and Hospice.  I have witnessed thousands, of people in very stressful situations.  I’ve seen many people explode after very little provocation.  And I’ve seen hundreds of people gracefully walk through what seems like insurmountable stresses.   What makes the difference?  It’s not what stressed them.  Nope!  It’s what’s inside them that comes out under pressure.  It’s not what squeezed them that produced the reaction.  It’s that they got squeezed.
Driving is a perfect example.  An incident occurs, i.e. someone cuts in front of you.  You know nothing about them.  You haven’t a clue what their day/week/life is like.  They know nothing about you. Yet, suddenly you are engaged in a battle where both of you are determined to win. There is shouting and cursing and….  Ahhh…. there it is… the anger built up inside from something far greater than today’s driving experience comes boiling up, and WOW.  And both sides will blame the other for their own reaction.
Simply put, it’s never about what squeezed you that causes your reaction.  Remember how Nelson Mandela spoke about his years in prison.  Or what John McCain shared about his years as a POW?  They are amazing examples of being squeezed beyond what most humans could endure.  Yet, they responded with grace and courage, peace and encouragement.
It’s what is already inside you that comes out when squeezed.  How do you respond when squeezed?  Maybe it’s time to explore those reactions.

 

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May 3

The Plane Mom

by Barbette Spitler

Plane at Sunrise

“People watching” is one of my favorite things to do.  And airports are a fabulous place to watch and study humans.  I watch their interactions and the dynamics between people.  I am often amused and never hide that I am watching.  I smile.  I engage with people from all walks of life and in any situation. No, I don’t want to have a real conversation with them.  I just like to acknowledge them.  But, early Monday morning flights have a lot of business travelers so I expected today would be a less than exciting people watching episode. 

I was wrong.  As I picked up a book to read, I was quickly distracted by the activity to my left.  There were several roller derby team members having an animated conversation. They were fun to watch. (I recognized them from the convention center.  I was upstairs at a conference while the roller derby and an Exotica convention shared the lower level.)   I observed over a dozen different people, all sitting in different areas near the gate, completely engrossed in their phone conversations, hand held devices, or daydreaming nearly miss their place because they weren’t paying attention.  Others for the same plane were late because they were in line at the café.  The next 3 flights that left the gate area had the same issues.  People strolling along as if the plan will wait for them.  Some annoyed when it didn’t. 

I see happy people, angry people, and others who intrigue me for some random reason.    As always, I was amused and appalled at the clothing choices for the day.  From pajamas to…well …some Erotica people were at the airport too. Finally, it’s time for our plane to board.  There are people chatting.  There are squeals from the little children.  Lots of activity so I am happy to be observing.   As I was getting settled in my aisle seat, the line of passengers continue streaming past.  Sometimes their conversations carry on as they walk past and what bits and pieces I hear often make me smile.  The flight attendant announces the flight is full and every seat will be taken.  The young man standing next to me begins swearing and out comes a stream of cussing with anti-Semitic, homo-phobic, inappropriate verbiage that shocked me.  It made his 3-4 companions behind him laugh out loud.  Really??  Four F-bombs just because the plane is full?  He is standing right beside me and he cannot go anywhere yet. My mouth engaged before I could stop myself.    It went like this….  “Hey!  Soap and water would be a nice remedy for that dirty mouth!  We have free speech in this country, but we also have common decency and it seems to be lacking in your commentary.”  I paused…heart pounding…but ever so aware he can’t possible have a gun!  Right?  We’re in an airplane!  Then, the finale (where does this stuff come from??)    “And just a side note…. Psychologists say that those most vocal about gay’s have latent tendencies to be so….. Just sayin!”  As I looked at his friends who are now passing by, “Just be aware boys…be aware!”.    You could hear the snickering.  From the “boys” and from the fellow passengers.  Several applauded.  One man nudges me in the arm and says, “Wow, I want you on my side!”  Another looked dazed and asked what had sparked the kid’s rant in the first place.   A woman in the row behind me thanked me.  And later, one of the flight attendants came by to find out who the woman was that the group of young men had dubbed “The Plane Mom”. 

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Feb 3

Boycott Coke?

by Barbette Spitler

boycott coke

Really?

Drinking Coke is something I don’t and WON’t do.  Not now and not ever!  It has nothing to do with their new Superbowl commercial.  Drinking soda is a topic I have covered in an earlier post and will most certainly discuss again later.  Today, I want to discuss the “Boycott Coke” signs I’ve seen floating around on social media. 

 Today, our country is divided, nearly equally, on politics, equality, and immigration.  Each side believing they are the correct side and that the other side is just plain wrong.  As horribly divided as our country was 50-70 years ago, I’m not sure we have improved much.  So why would Coke take such a hotly charged topic and bring it to America in such a compelling “in-your-face” style?   Certainly they knew there would be those who would smile and beam with pride at how dynamic the commercial was and how beautiful our patriotic song sounded in so many different languages.  Certainly they also knew there would be those who would stare at the TV, jaw hanging open in stunned amazement that our beautiful patriotic song was butchered because it wasn’t in English.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have heard both sides of this debate and it isn’t pretty.    

 Years ago, Coca-Cola made a huge hit when they released the commercial I have attached to the blog post.  Anyone over 50 most certainly can sing every word of the song, “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing”.  We loved the song regardless if we like Coke.  The commercial showed the diversity of nationalities which make us America!  And, yes, it was all harmonized in English.  Every time I think of how I want the world to really be – I hear that song and smile.  I would love to see every human look at another and realize that skin color or country of origin doesn’t matter.  I’d love for every one of us to reach out to another and offer peace and compassion. Ahhh… just imagine….

As I re-visit their most recent commercial and compare it to the 1971 version posted above… I am struck by several points.  The images in the 2014 commercial are absolutely beautiful.  Turn the volume down and just look at the images.  You smile.  The images are what America is all about.  Happy people.  People helping people. Our countryside.  Our people!   It’s beautiful.  I watched the video of the new commercial with the song from the 1971 version and I had tears of happy!  

 Regardless of your like or dislike of the commercial itself, I will certainly give credit to the marketing team at Coca-Cola for stepping out of the politically correct comfort zone and offering up an attempt to bring America together – just as they did in 1971.   But mostly, I wonder…. how would the commercial have been received if the song was done in English – with accents and all?  Would it have made a difference?

What do you think about the commercial and the message Coke was sending?

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Jan 22

Abundance Attitude

by Barbette Spitler

Do your thoughts influence your income? Can your thinking really influence the flow of abundance into your life? Do you have an attitude that stops the flow of money? Are you aware of how you interfere with your own prosperity? Special Guest Barbette Spitler will help us understand how to open up to the flow of abundance. She’ll discuss the natural energy of abundance and how to attune to prosperity in all areas of your life.

Listen Here:
http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/75431/abundance-attitude

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