BarbetteSpitler.com

Holistic Health & Wellness Coach

Ancient Wisdom – Always Relevant

ho'oponopono heart
There is much wisdom in ancient teachings.
     As I spend more and more time and energy reaching out to those in need or helping others reach for the stars, I am also presented with opportunities to learn from the teachings of the ancient elders.
     Mother Teresa is one of those who carried forward the teachings of the ancients into current time.  She taught us the true meaning of love and service.  She inspires me.  Gandhi taught us to “Be the change we wish to see.”   Wayne Dyer taught us to take responsibility for our own thoughts, actions and reactions.  I could go on and on.  Each of these wise teachers are reminding us of the wisdom of the elders.  It’s not new news.  It’s all ancient teachings.  But who brings them forward?
     Another great ancient teaching is the Hawaiian Healing Prayer,  Ho’Oponopono. It means – to make right.   It’s so simple it’s difficult for our ego mind to believe it could possible work to help heal anything.  Yet, it does. From injuries to relationships!  It’s like a miracle worker.  Why?  Because it combines the power of love and forgiveness.  There are only four steps.  They are laid out in four simple statements which connect to deeply held beliefs or emotions.
     Step One:  Acknowledge and Repentance.  I AM SORRY.  We are completely and totally responsible for our actions and reactions!  We choose them.  You may be sorry for being angry or for hurting someone’s feelings. You may be sorry you gained weight or were careless and hurt yourself.  The list goes on and on.  Even if you are not quite sure if you are “sorry” for something, say it anyway and see what happens.
     Step Two: Ask forgiveness.  PLEASE FORGIVE ME.  You are not necessarily asking this of another human.  Ask it from Spirit.  Ask for forgiveness from yourself… for yourself.  Try it!  See what it feels like to be in this very vulnerable state.  It’s amazing! (And it gets easier with practice.)
     Step Three:  Gratitude.  THANK YOU.  Again, this is not about going to another human and expressing the gratitude.  Express gratitude to yourself for yourself.  Just say it!  Thank Spirit.  It doesn’t matter to whom… just express the gratitude! Say Thank You!
     Step Four:  Love.  I LOVE YOU.   Share the love. Love for yourself.  Love for others.  Love for Spirit.  Love for humanity.  Just share LOVE!
 I'm sorry
     These four simple statements become four incredibly profound expressions of love and service to self and to others.  Easy and effective.  No one ever need to know you are using the Ho’Oponopono to help heal yourself or a relationship.  Dr.  Ihaleakala Hew Len used this method to heal criminally insane patients he had never met.  He read their patient files and performed this healing ritual for each of them.  The results were incredible!
     It is my understanding this healing works regardless of the order of the statements said.  It is more important that we acknowledge each step and use the verbiage to clear the energy connected to it.  The order of the statements matters less than the awareness of  them.
     So, put on your thinking caps and start a list.  Do you have physical issues your need to heal?  How about:  Relationships with others; your finances; your health; your feelings about yourself; your feelings about others;  your prejudices; your anger/hurt/hatred…   Get started now making miracles  happen in your life and allow the ripple effect of your Ho’Oponopono to happen!
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Passion for Peace?

Peace wayne dyerAs each election year approaches, I am fascinated to witness the changes in personality of so many people.  Often, people who seem kind and thoughtful and even generous are… until someone with different political views joins the discussion.  I am amazed and disheartened by those who will  go out of their way to make fun of or put down the other side.  Not the “the other side” but the actual people who represent that other side!  Half of the country has hateful names for Republicans and half of the country has hateful names for Democrats.  And often, those same people, when not talking politics, say they want peace, harmony and all good things.  But if you truly want peace and harmony, how do you get there by bashing another for their political preferences?  How is it okay to demean, dehumanize and demoralize another human being in one breath and then talk about how peace and harmony should reign in another breath?  There is no commonality between the two.

We can’t get to “good” when we keep focusing on the negative.  Whatever the politicians do or don’t do…   We forget that WE – the people – are the ones who can make the difference.  Not by pointing fingers but by coming together with a positive focus and then… we the people, make it happen.

We have become a nation that tolerates it’s ignorance, indifference, insensitivity and it’s inertia! We spend our time pointing fingers at who is responsible for what.  We have lost our focus and what is best for us as a nation.  We’ve let the politicians decide what is in our best interests as fed by the many lobbyists who wine and dine them.  Is that okay with you???  Are you really satisfied with your government choosing your life and lifestyle for you?

     We have the opportunity to join forces as the people of our nation have in the past.  We can turn off the reality shows,  celebrity news and the 24 hr news channels, and turn on our passion for what’s right for our great nation.  We can join together and focus our energy to improve our food supply; improve the health of our people; and restore our faith in our country.  But we will never get there wasting our time, energy and efforts, bashing the other political party, pointing fingers and placing blame.  I believe, we can best move forward by stepping past the political differences and stop focusing on how we got here!  We simply must look beyond the how and why and look forward to what can we do about it?
     When we are looking for positive solutions, the energy toward positive solutions raises.  Raising the energy also raises the awareness and thus raises the passion for it!  Imagine – a passion for PEACE!    Can you just imagine how it will be to live in a country with a passion for peace?! It would bring our nation together to create a better future for ourselves, our children and our grandchildren.  Let’s do it! Let’s clear out the negativity, hatred,  racism and tolerance.  Let’s bring in peace, harmony, understanding and acceptance.
     What great things about our country and it’s people are you passionate about? What are you willing to speak up for?  What are you willing to do to improve our great nation?  And let’s get to it!

worrld peace

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Mess or Memories? Develop their Creativity or Stinkin’ Thinkin’ !

    child painting mess A young child is happily painting.  Creating a beautiful, majestic work of art.  Every color is exquisite.  Every stroke is perfectly placed.  There is no greater joy in childhood than seeing their work of art when this creativity is unleashed, uninhibited, and fully executed.  It is beautiful…. and it is good.
     Until Mom discovers this work of art has been created with her make up, tooth paste and powder… AND… the canvas is the bathroom wall.  “What were you thinking?” Mom screams at the child.  “You ruined my make up.  You messed up the entire bathroom!!  Oh My Gosh!  I can’t believe you would do this to me!  It’s an awful mess I have to clean up!  Get out of here and never do this again!”
     Horrified, terrified, and sobbing, the child runs away to their room.  The child learned, very quickly, his/her creativity is messy and ruins things. Because the mother was so upset, the child believes they should never express their creativity again because it is so upsetting.  They made an immediate agreement within to silence their creativity.
     Sound familiar?  It should.  For most of us, we were either the receiver of such a message as a child OR we sent the message to a child.  Yes, I know…   cleaning up the after affects of such creativity is work and certainly not fun.  Yet, cleaning up the walls and replacing cosmetics are a distant second to restoring the wounded spirit of the child.  Yet, which one do you suppose gets the most attention?  The mess you can see or the spirit you cannot?
     Because of an incident like the one described, the child grows up suppressing their creativity.  Maybe another child was singing at the top of their lungs while Dad was driving the car.  When Dad has had enough he shouts at the child to “shut up already… you don’t even know the right words!”.  Something that simple can cause the child to suppress their singing.  More importantly, they may also begin to wonder what other parts of their personality are not acceptable to others.  If it’s not accepted by their own parents then….  WOW… now what?
     THAT’s how Stinkin’ Thinkin’ starts.  In childhood!  Parents don’t purposely stifle their children’s creativity nor do they realize how their words can be so harmful or cause long term damage.  Most often, they are just expressing their own frustration or anger or any other emotion.
     One day, when my twin boys were young toddlers, they became way too quiet in the bedroom.  I sneaked up the stairs and listened.  They were busy doing something and then giggling.  Ever so quietly I sneaked and when I saw them I nearly cried!  They had opened the door to the attic and found the stacks of 500 and 1000 piece puzzles.  Twelve  puzzle boxes were strewn all over the floor but the puzzle pieces were in a HUGE pile in the center of their room.  They dumped each box of puzzle pieces in the pile and tossed the box aside.  They played in the pile of pieces like it was a pile of leaves on the lawn. They were so happy!
     I was tired!  With four boys, (2 toddlers, 1 teen and 1 tween)  I was not at all interested in cleaning up 12 boxes of puzzle pieces!  I just sat there, and in my misery, I started to cry.  Soon, though, their giggles brought me back to reality.  They were so happy.  I slowly rounded the corner from the stairs and laid in the doorway.  When they saw me they were even happier!  “Look Mommy,” as Britt grabbed up two handfuls of pieces and threw them up and then danced underneath the falling pieces.  Puzzle pieces were EVERYWHERE!  I asked them… “So…. what are we doing here?”  Britt exclaimed, “It’s a fire!”  He grabbed more handfuls of pieces and up into the air they went. Cody ran back into the attic to get the last box and before I could say a word, another 500 pieces landed in the puzzle-piece-fire.  I wasn’t sure exactly what to do.  So… I said, “Interesting…”  I then decided to distract them and totally avoid the clean up until later.  No yelling.  No punishment.  I really didn’t know what to do.
     When Daddy came home, I suggested the twins show Daddy what they had created today.  They couldn’t have been happier to show him!  They bounded up those stairs and started the tossing frenzy again.  Daddy looked at me with a questioning look… as if to say… you let them do this?  I signed and shook my head.  For the record, did have the boys help us separate the pieces into several piles based on the color of the back of the pieces.  Then, the parents took on the task of getting every single puzzle piece back into the proper box.  Yep.  We rebuilt every puzzle to make sure each box was correct.  Every box was then sealed with tape and ALL the boxes were sold in the next garage sale!
     Imagine if we had handled the situation differently.  What if I had yelled at them for the mess and belittled them because of the work they created for me and their Daddy?  What if…??  What stinkin’ thinkin’ could have resulted.  We will never know. But I know for sure… children will respond to the messages we send them.  They will close up for self protection.  OR they will blossom when supported.
     Do you remember a situation where you wish your parents had supported you?  Do you remember an event that initiated your stinkin’ thinkin’ about yourself?  Have a story about something your children did and how you handled it?  Please share here.
children making memories mess
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A Daughter’s Grace

    spiritual-transforamtion Yesterday I received a text from a young girl whose father was in hospice care.  She asked for help understanding the death process of both the physical body and his spirit.  Hospice had provided her with a book on physical changes she would notice and how to respond as the body prepares for death.  She said she was wholly unprepared for how to handle the spiritual aspect.
     Her questions were deep and profound.  She wanted to support his spiritual needs as much as his physical needs.  Yet, there wasn’t adequate information on what those spiritual needs might be.  She said, “They didn’t give me a book about this!”  She wondered if there is a proper way to say goodbye.  She asked if he would know whether she was there beside his physical body or if she was praying for him from home.  She asked if the atmosphere in the house would affect him (the loud TV and all the noise and activity was a lot for her to handle too.) So many questions….
     I’ve been a nurse for over 25 years.  I’ve spent a lot of time with dying people both in the hospital and in their homes.  I found great joy in working with hospice patients and their families.  It’s the most difficult time for a family, sending a loved one off to the spirit world.  One thing I know for sure, each death transition is different in the circumstances leading up to it, the people involved, and their reaction to it. There is no one right way to do this.  There are a lot of things to do that are well received.  And there are plenty of things that are not well received.  So many variables!
     Once I determined what her expectations were for herself during this process it was easier to guide her.  She wrote notes from our conversation and implemented the to-do list that evening.  She had a beautiful, loving (though one-sided) conversation with her father.  The house was calm and peaceful and she knew he was resting easier.  When she left him this morning, she was at peace, too.
     This evening she received a call from the hospice nurse indicating his transition could be in the next 24-36 hours.  She was confused about what to do.  She felt badly because she was trying to figure out whether to go to his bedside again (hours away) or go to sleep and potentially go to work in the morning.  She said, “I need someone to walk me through this because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.  How am I supposed to know what’s the right thing to do?”
     Tonight’s conversation was quite different.  During our conversation we discussed how to talk to his non-physical presence, his soul.  She asked for a visual.  “How does that look?”  I asked for her angels to help me with what visual would be best for her. As I described the beautiful visual of colors her angels showed me, she was able to finish the description as she was seeing it herself!  Beautiful!  Amazing!  Perfect!  I had chills!  I was in awe!
     She asked one final question.  “What else do I need to do to help him?”  After our conversation yesterday, I had asked her angels that very question.  I wanted to be prepared in case she asked.  She did!  I gave her the information about forgiveness that her angels had shared with me.  I knew she would understand the message even though I didn’t.  It was not my message…I was just the messenger!  She asked a few clarifying questions and then said, “Oh, I get it….I know what they mean.   So, I just need to let him know that’s been taken care of.  I will do that now!”  And she did.  She was able to receive the guidance she needed.  She was able to process the forgiveness herself immediately!  And with a visual that was clear and beautiful, and easy to recall.
     Our entire phone conversation was just under 12 minutes.  Exactly 2 minutes after our call ended, my phone rang again.  I was surprised to see it was her calling again. She said that as soon as we hung up, her phone rang.  The hospice nurse had called to say her father had died…transition complete.  We both knew immediately… the vision we had both seen was of her forgiven father making his transition to spirit.  We both were in awe and wonder!  What a gift for both of us!  This young girl had an amazing spiritual experience tonight that will remain with her forever.  She said it was BEAUTIFUL! She was so pleased!  I was so honored to be with her at that time.  Though we were physically 1,000 miles apart, we were together on that phone and our spirits were in alignment with her father.  What an incredible blessing!
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When People Show You Who They Are…..

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Many years ago, I was in the front row to hear Maya Angelou!  Her words of wisdom were profound and her presentation was delightful, thought provoking and…. for me… quite moving.  She said some things that the audience found humorous and other statements that were met with the silence of significant thought.   Other bits of wisdom were met with quiet conversations and remarks spoken in whispers.

One of her famous quotes came after she told a story.  The story ended with her looking out into the audience and stating, “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.”   I remember thinking to myself…”Well, that’s not fair!  People can change.”  I am one of those people!  I was an unhappy teenager.  I was angry about a multitude of things and was quite sure my entire future was doomed to be filled with continued trauma and drama.  But, I changed.  I changed my attitude, my perspective and my outlook and everything improved!  Because it happened for me, I believe everyone wants to be happy and everyone will look for a pathway to make it so.  Right??  Doesn’t everyone desire to be happy?  Isn’t everyone willing to make changes to achieve a greater level of happiness??

Over the years after the event, I looked over my notes often.  I agreed with her on every level and every point, except that one statement.  I always believed people can and want to improve their life and their outlook.  I had a fundamental belief that no one truly wants to hurt or harm another.  I believed it is our responsibility to and for others, to believe they can change and to support them as they do.  It’s part of the reason I became a Health & Wellness Life Coach…. to assist those who are ready and willing and to provide the tools to make it easier and more efficient to find and keep a positive perspective.

Recently, I’ve revisited this pearl of wisdom from Maya.  I’ve had to make a few changes to my belief system.  I recognize that everyone can improve and have a metamorphosis which leads them to create a life of wonder and happiness and joy.  I also recognize, for many people, it’s easier to blame others, complain and stay right where they are!  And finally, I’ve had to realize that there are those who will give lip service to all the “right” things and their actions tell quite the different story.  Actions speak LOUDER than words ever will.  When the actions are not in alignment with the verbiage – listen to the actions/behavior.  What people do and how they do it is more expressive of their intention than their words.

When people show you who they are, do you believe them the first time? Do you allow for the possibility they may change and become  more focused on love and service to others rather than self-service.  Or do you take your first impression of them and assign it to them permanently?  Do you believe people can change and improve?

I think we have to be mindful of what people show us and allow for it to improve.  But don’t assume it will  …. and don’t be disappointed when they show you who they really are!  We all have free will and get to choose our attitude and behaviors.  We can’t be disappointed if we have no expectation of another person’s way of being.  Thus we cannot be disappointed when someone shows us who they really are….

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What is Energy Medicine?

400_Human_Energy_Field_2I get a lot of questions about energy medicine…  In a nutshell….  Energy Medicine is based on physics rather than biochemistry.  Physics is the study of energy.  You remember from high school?  Physics does not override biochem.  It DRIVES it!  Biology and Chemistry behave according to the laws of physics.  The human body is made of energy.  ALL matter has energy!  IF you have ever had an x-ray, ultrasound, CT scan, MRI, EKG, EEG, EMG, laser surgery, etc… they are all done using energy!

Conventional medicine treats the symptoms of a singular body system.  My friend, Christina Ross,compares western medicine to auto mechanics, plumbers and electricians.  It’s a GREAT analogy.  The human body has bones (structure), digestive system (plumbing), and nervous system (electrical).  Western medicine treats the body systems separately.  If we have a heart problem we see a cardiologist.  If we have a stomach problem we see a gastroenterologist.  If we have a structure problem we see an orthopedist.  Pharmaceuticals (medications) affect the chemical signals in the body and all medications have side effects meaning they affect (mostly negatively) other body systems because they interfere with the chemical signals of the body.  Treating the body as if it is just a sum of it’s individual parts is not only inefficient it is often detrimental to the body as a whole.

Energy medicine recognizes ALL body systems are connected and strives to harmonize the entire energy system.  When the body is in energetic balance, (then and only then) does the body heal itself.  Energy medicine works with the electromagnetic signals of the body.  Since every cell, tissue, muscle, bone, organ, blood…  every part of the body is energy and therefore sending electromagnetic signals throughout the body – harmonizing them to balance is the most efficient way to heal the body.  Since every part of the human body is interconnected and integrated with every other part of the human body – achieving balance in a body system also means achieving energetic balance to the whole.

In our culture, we think nothing of getting an X-ray nor do we understand fully how the energy of it works.  We get an ultrasound and only care about the results and nothing about the energetics of how it works.  We see our heart rate blipping on the monitor screen and don’t understand the science behind the graph. We are just happy to see the activity that indicates we have a beating heart!  Measuring the brain waves (EEG) is yet another tool to measure energy waves and determine the brain activity.  Each of these examples are an example of using energy for testing or reading the electrical signals within the body.  We use these terms nearly every day yet we know little to nothing about the science of these tools which measure the energy within the body.  But we do not question the validity!

Conventional medicine is newer in comparison to energy medicine.  Pharmaceuticals have only been around for the last 60 years.  Yet, energy medicine and hands on healing have been see in drawings dating back to 2700 BC.    It is well studied and again I remind you…. there are no negative side effects.  I’ve been told only Jesus heals…  I submit to you that is wholly inaccurate!  Every human body has the ability to heal itself.  You have healed yourself of cuts, abrasions, broken bones, and many illnesses including influenza, colds, gastroenteritis, headaches, and many other interruptions of the human system.  No medicine can cure you.  No doctor can heal you.  You heal yourself.  Healing is made easier and much more efficient when you treat the body as a whole, recognize and harmonize the human energy system, and only use medications when truly necessary.  Fortunately, medications are seldom truly necessary!   Thankfully, we have the scientific understanding of energy medicine and it is available at our fingertips!

human-energy-field

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Change My Friends!?!?

84633959afc236bcad8429b8235015adChange My Friends??  But ONE friendship can change your whole world!

This weekend I heard a quote that caused me to pause a moment.  I wrote it down.  It was thought provoking.  I’ve been pondering it all weekend.  “If you can’t change your friends, it’s time to change your friends.”

I am an RN of 25 years who shifted to health & wellness advocate.  My career is health promotion and disease prevention.  I encourage people to take action to clean up their diets and learn to fuel their bodies with quality nutrition.  I educate people about nature and nurture.  I introduce people to holistic and complimentary supplements and modalities which will enhance their health and wellness.  My wish for everyone is the best physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health possible.  Yet, I recognize I am considered an odd ball in my circle of friends and family.  I am often teased and many poke fun at me for my beliefs, my suggestions and my lifestyle.  I am sometimes disappointed when I cannot affect change with/for them.  I am aware some of my friends and family ignore me,  thinking I am just sharing my opinions.  However… I am schooled in nutrition.  I have researched nutritional supplements and holistic methods.  Thirty years ago my opinion was that food only needed to taste good!  Fast forward through degree programs and research and I KNOW for certain, food is fuel!  It is the major ingredient in our physical performance, our mental capabilities and our emotional balance.  No Oreo or Dorito can provide that fuel and we are silly if we think it can or will!

I know people in my circle who don’t want to believe that food is the major player in allowing dis-ease or  promoting good health.  But change friends just because they don’t think the same as I?  Change friends because they smoke or drink or carry around an extra 50 pounds?  Change friends because I can’t influence them enough to want to enhance or improve their health?

Twice I was over 200#.  Once was while pregnant with twins.  I have carried extra weight and yo-yo dieted most of my life.  I understand the addiction to sugar because I lived it.  I attended Carbohydrates Anonymous (which I think is now known as Food Addicts Anonymous).  I was addicted to Diet Pepsi.  I totally understand the issues!  AND…I am a nurse with over 25 years experience in ER, ICU, Home Care and Hospice.  I have seen the affects of drug interactions, recreational drug use, excessive alcohol consumption, smoking, and poor food choices.  We humans want to think food is about “tastes good” rather than “fuels well”.  We want to ignore the connection to what we put in our physical gas tank affects our physical, mental and emotional performance.  Egads… how do we not SEE the connection??  For a long time, I didn’t!  Yet, change my friends because they see things differently?  Wouldn’t that be like changing my friends because they have different religious or political beliefs?  I’m still pondering this….

I asked Damn-Near-Perfect (my husband of nearly 32 years) for his thoughts.  His words of wisdom….”When you surround yourself with people who don’t believe you, don’t “get” you, and don’t want to hear what you have to offer, it hurts your heart and makes you doubt your place on the planet.  When you surround yourself with people who think like you do, you will never again doubt yourself and what you do.  ”   WOW.  WOW.  WOW.

Deep Breath.  A few tears.  And now…..

Changes Ahead!!

Changes next exit

 

 

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Doctors Practice Witchcraft?

dictionary pharmaceuticalWhen looking for a definition we are unsure of, we seek the answer in the dictionary.   We have learned, though, the dictionary is ever changing as we, the people, create new idioms or use words once considered “slang” and now considered common.  Consider the correct use of the word; anxious.  Many people use it as a form of expressing anticipation and eagerness for a meeting or event.  i.e. I’m so anxious to meet you.  However, the definition of anxious actually means;  afraid, nervous, showing fear, or feeling anxiety.  Thus the correct word for expressing happy anticipation is eager.  i.e.  I am eager to see you again.  Interesting, right?

Now consider the definition of pharmaceutical.  We think of pharmaceutical as being related to drugs, medicines or pharmacy.  However, just a few short years ago, that was not the Webster’s definition.  In 1968, Websters defined pharmaceutical:  to practice witchcraft or sorcery.  In my parent’s 1979 Webster’s Dictionary (photo above) it is defined:  to practice witchcraft or use medicine.  The same dictionary defines pharmacon: poison.    So, what’s changed?  Certainly we cannot argue medicine or pharmaceuticals are improved such that we now have removed the definition poison and/or witchcraft.  Quite the contrary.  We have an incredible number of class action lawsuits against many different pharmaceuticals and new suits arise every year.
What’s changed?  It’s our acceptance and usage.  As the percentage of American’s using pharmaceuticals increased year after year one could hardly ignore the definition no longer spoke to the masses, right?  How many physicians would approve of Webster’s defining the majority of their practice as witchcraft and sorcery?  How many patients seeking the latest and greatest pill for what ails them would approve of their prescription for poison?  How many people would approve of the majority of our TV commercials advertising better ways to practice witchcraft with the best poison?  Really….   think about it!
Every pharmaceutical has a side effect (or six).   Often, the side effect is a worsening case of what you have initially.  Sometimes, the side effect is the opposite of what you are seeking.  Sometimes, the side effects are such that your body must be monitored for failure of another body system.  Not because your original ailment would cause that other system to fail, but the medication will!!

The body is designed to heal itself.  When we fuel it with healthy foods full of wholesome enzymes meant to help the body restore itself…when we hydrate our cells, tissues, fluids and organs such that they perform as designed… and when we rest and refresh our bodies… our bodies will seek to heal and regain balance.  An imbalance always has a root cause.  Discovering the root cause enables a quicker and more successful pathway to wholeness and healing.  Please… Take a few moments to think about pharmaceuticals (medication) and see if you can find one that actually cures a disease or illness.  Not something that just masks the symptoms, but truly cures.   I’m pondering…..but so far…. not one!

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Ohh… To be a plumber…

fixing-a-leaky-shower-faucet_87807702.s300x300   If I was a plumber and knew my friends, family, and neighbors had leaky faucets, I would be willing to help them.  I would shake my head in bewilderment if they didn’t ask me to help.  And I would be disappointed for them to have leaky faucets.  Why?  Because leaky faucets mean they have water to clean up or possibly water damage.  An undetected leak would also include mold growth and damage.  Leaky faucets also result in a higher cost in water bills.  And it means a waste of a precious resource.

I am not a plumber.  I am a health, life and performance coach.  My passion is health promotion and disease prevention.  I teach people how to build a strong immune system.  I encourage people to healthier food and lifestyle choices for better well-being and longevity.  I help people heal themselves from illness or chronic disease.  And I guide people to discover the connection between their mind, body and spirit.  Like a plumber, I am willing to help others to repair their issues and improve their circumstances.  Like a plumber, I am bewildered when people are suffering  (physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually) and don’t ask for help.  Why?  Because whether we are in a health crisis or just looking for better ways to promote our health and wellness, we can waste precious time and energy seeking information and answers.  We look for a quick fix for the symptoms rather than a long term resolution to the initiating problem.  It’s like wrapping a towel around the leaky faucet.  The towel will absorb the water for awhile but the leak remains.  Eventually, the wet towel becomes part of the problem, too

Symptom suppression is the same.  While suppressing the symptoms, we are not resolving the problem.  This means longer healing times, IF healing occurs at all.  It means possible further damage caused by the side effects of the symptom suppression medications.   And,  it means the initial problem continues to produce the same or similar symptoms because it is not resolved. Symptoms are actually messages to the brain/body that a problem exits.  The body will continue to send the messages as long as the problem exists. That means the symptoms continue or increase in intensity or duration, which means more medication is needed to suppress them.  It’s an interesting and complex cycle which often becomes a cyclone of symptoms which leads to more and different medications to address or suppress the symptoms.

Sadly, I shake my head in bewilderment wondering why anyone would want to continue on that path, especially when other options exist. Yet, I witness the journey for many,  If I was a plumber, their continued leaky faucets would be disappointing for me to witness .  As a health and life coach, their suffering is painful for me to witness.   Yes… there are times I wish I was a plumber.

 

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Do you Hear Through Your History?

 Kids-upset-at-each-otherRecently, while working with a teenage client, she shared a text conversation that was pertinent to the event she was processing.  As she read her part of the text conversation aloud, she used a calm, soft voice and displayed a sincere demeanor.  While reading the other person’s texts in the conversation, her voice was filled with attitude and her demeanor was condescending and rude.  I found it intriguing how she was using voice inflections and intonations as well as other non-verbals to communicate in a conversation that clearly has none of those as options.  When I questioned her about it, she was startled.  She didn’t realize she was doing it at first.  As we discussed it, she stated, “But that’s how she talks to me when she’s mad”.  The text conversation did not indicate that the other was annoyed or angry.  In further exploration, we discovered she was assuming how the other would be speaking.

     In my practice I always recommend conversations around deep or serious topics occur in person or by phone (if you cannot do it in person).  In person, you can see, sense and experience the conversation and leave nothing to interpretation.  You can ask clarifying questions.  You have the full focus and attention of the person you are communicating with (yes….insist on it!)  And it makes it more difficult for you, the listener, to hear the other through your own history.
     Hearing through your history limits the brilliance of the other’s message to you.  It means you are filtering their words through what you surmise they mean.  When we “think” we know what they mean we are guessing which means we are hearing through our history and not hearing clearly.  The brilliance (and yes I mean, the excellence of or the magnificence of their message) is lost on you.  You miss it because you are hearing from your own experiences and beliefs.
     The text conversation my client shared was a fabulous example.   Because she was hearing through her history, she was missing that her friend was actually sharing her desire to return to the friendship they once shared.  Her friend was literally opening herself up, being vulnerable, and hoping to reconnect.  My young client was wishing for the same.  However, her past hurts had accumulated to such a degree she was hearing only complaints and attacks.  She couldn’t hear the vulnerability and hope her friend was expressing.  I asked her if I could read the messages out loud to her with a different perspective.  She allowed me.  When I was finished… she cried.  We read the same words…. one was heard through her history.  The other was heard from an open heart.
     Hear with an open heart and you will hear love and compassion.  Hear through your history and you will hear…… your history!
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