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Holistic Health & Wellness Coach

Beautiful Aunt Bonnie

12488_10152613160828833_5857682271535379778_nToday my Aunt Bonnie passed over.  She was one of my favorite people.  Why?  Because she was one of those people would had “it all” but was always able to “keep it real”.  She would share her experiences about all the countries she’d visited as if she was talking about going to a movie.  She had no false sense of self.  She put on no airs.  And she was a great grounding agent for anyone who did.  She knew what was important was how we love and serve each other.   She lived a great life and had already shared with her family that she was ready to let go.

I had this vision of her this morning.  She was surrounded by her family here on earth as her soul ascended.  She was greeted by her Spirit family as she arrived in the Spiritual realm.  I saw her parents, her sister, my father, and all her beloved Boston Terriers who have been her companions for all the years I’ve known her.  They were all there to greet her and she was so happy and felt such immense love and peace.  As she looked back at her family, she knew they would be fine as they continue on without her presence on earth.  I was awed at her sense of peace and joy at being back in her Spiritual home.  It was a beautiful vision and it allowed me to stop grieving and instead be filled with joy for her.

I have spent a lot of time today reflecting on the many years I’ve known Aunt Bonnie and Uncle George and the many stories we have of our families sharing events and celebrations. There are so many stories.  All of them make me smile as I remember.  I’ve also reflected on the memories of my father and how I miss his presence.  He and Aunt Bonnie shared a special fondness for each other.  They got along  very well and considered themselves a part of a special clan known as “MTB’s” aka, Married to Bogumills (my mother’s siblings).  They, along with the other MTB”s, were a hoot when gathered together.  It was as if they had an understanding like no other because of their connection to the Bogumill family.

My Dad had a very difficult childhood.  He and his siblings have shared some childhood stories that made me weepy.  However, for as many years as I can remember,  Dad would say, “If I died today, I’d die a happy man”.  It always made me smile.  It usually came after a special event, or a family discussion, or just a quiet evening with his grandchildren.  He seemed to purposefully want to point out that he was pleased.  Dad’s statement confirmed for us that he was happy with his life and how it was progressing.  He seldom ever looked back at his childhood.  He stayed present and he was grateful for his life.   Later, when he became ill, he reminded us that each of us will die from this lifetime and be returned back to Spirit.  One day, while just he and I were chatting, he reminded me of how often he had said, “If I died today, I’d die a happy man.”  He wanted to make sure I knew he still meant it.  I believe Aunt Bonnie would have shared the same sentiment about her life.  She seemed so happy and grateful and thankful.  And I believe she died a happy human.

If you died today, would you die a happy human?  Take just a moment to reflect upon your life and life purpose.  Have you yet made a positive impact on this planet?  Did you participate in something helpful or healing to others? Do you know your life purpose?  Can you truly say this has been a life well lived?  If not, what are you going to change…..  and when?

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Been Squeezed Lately

 

Squeeze_Orange-When an orange is squeezed, it’s juice comes out. Regardless of what squeezed it – the juice is based on the fruit itself. If it’s sour, the juice is sour. If it’s sweet, the juice is sweet. And if it’s rotten, the juice is rotten. Regardless of what squeezed it!   

People are the same. What comes out when squeezed is what’s waiting inside. The difference is, people blame what squeezed them for how they respond. They justify their reaction to the squeeze by saying it is because of the squeeze.
Several years ago, Survivor participant Jerri Manthey, spoke about her time on Survivor.  She remarked that no one could truly be themselves in the stress of that situation.  I remember commenting to her through the TV, ” Actually, Jerri, It is your truest, deepest self that is exposed under pressure!”
In my nursing career, I have had the pleasure of working over 20 years in ER, ICU, home care and Hospice.  I have witnessed thousands, of people in very stressful situations.  I’ve seen many people explode after very little provocation.  And I’ve seen hundreds of people gracefully walk through what seems like insurmountable stresses.   What makes the difference?  It’s not what stressed them.  Nope!  It’s what’s inside them that comes out under pressure.  It’s not what squeezed them that produced the reaction.  It’s that they got squeezed.
Driving is a perfect example.  An incident occurs, i.e. someone cuts in front of you.  You know nothing about them.  You haven’t a clue what their day/week/life is like.  They know nothing about you. Yet, suddenly you are engaged in a battle where both of you are determined to win. There is shouting and cursing and….  Ahhh…. there it is… the anger built up inside from something far greater than today’s driving experience comes boiling up, and WOW.  And both sides will blame the other for their own reaction.
Simply put, it’s never about what squeezed you that causes your reaction.  Remember how Nelson Mandela spoke about his years in prison.  Or what John McCain shared about his years as a POW?  They are amazing examples of being squeezed beyond what most humans could endure.  Yet, they responded with grace and courage, peace and encouragement.
It’s what is already inside you that comes out when squeezed.  How do you respond when squeezed?  Maybe it’s time to explore those reactions.

 

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The Plane Mom

Plane at Sunrise

“People watching” is one of my favorite things to do.  And airports are a fabulous place to watch and study humans.  I watch their interactions and the dynamics between people.  I am often amused and never hide that I am watching.  I smile.  I engage with people from all walks of life and in any situation. No, I don’t want to have a real conversation with them.  I just like to acknowledge them.  But, early Monday morning flights have a lot of business travelers so I expected today would be a less than exciting people watching episode. 

I was wrong.  As I picked up a book to read, I was quickly distracted by the activity to my left.  There were several roller derby team members having an animated conversation. They were fun to watch. (I recognized them from the convention center.  I was upstairs at a conference while the roller derby and an Exotica convention shared the lower level.)   I observed over a dozen different people, all sitting in different areas near the gate, completely engrossed in their phone conversations, hand held devices, or daydreaming nearly miss their place because they weren’t paying attention.  Others for the same plane were late because they were in line at the café.  The next 3 flights that left the gate area had the same issues.  People strolling along as if the plan will wait for them.  Some annoyed when it didn’t. 

I see happy people, angry people, and others who intrigue me for some random reason.    As always, I was amused and appalled at the clothing choices for the day.  From pajamas to…well …some Erotica people were at the airport too. Finally, it’s time for our plane to board.  There are people chatting.  There are squeals from the little children.  Lots of activity so I am happy to be observing.   As I was getting settled in my aisle seat, the line of passengers continue streaming past.  Sometimes their conversations carry on as they walk past and what bits and pieces I hear often make me smile.  The flight attendant announces the flight is full and every seat will be taken.  The young man standing next to me begins swearing and out comes a stream of cussing with anti-Semitic, homo-phobic, inappropriate verbiage that shocked me.  It made his 3-4 companions behind him laugh out loud.  Really??  Four F-bombs just because the plane is full?  He is standing right beside me and he cannot go anywhere yet. My mouth engaged before I could stop myself.    It went like this….  “Hey!  Soap and water would be a nice remedy for that dirty mouth!  We have free speech in this country, but we also have common decency and it seems to be lacking in your commentary.”  I paused…heart pounding…but ever so aware he can’t possible have a gun!  Right?  We’re in an airplane!  Then, the finale (where does this stuff come from??)    “And just a side note…. Psychologists say that those most vocal about gay’s have latent tendencies to be so….. Just sayin!”  As I looked at his friends who are now passing by, “Just be aware boys…be aware!”.    You could hear the snickering.  From the “boys” and from the fellow passengers.  Several applauded.  One man nudges me in the arm and says, “Wow, I want you on my side!”  Another looked dazed and asked what had sparked the kid’s rant in the first place.   A woman in the row behind me thanked me.  And later, one of the flight attendants came by to find out who the woman was that the group of young men had dubbed “The Plane Mom”. 

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Grace and Grief

 

healingtouchanimals

Today I had the honor of being the support for a friend as he said goodbye to his beloved cat of 10 years. She had been his companion during the loss of his mother ( his closest companion and friend) and his uncle (who was his mentor). He described his cat as “the perfect kitty for me”.  He said she was curious but not troublesome. She was fun and funny but also laid back and relaxed. She loved to watch the world from her window perch and was content with being doted upon. They had simple routines which provided comfort to them both especially during times of stress.  She was the perfect companion for him.

Five weeks ago he was concerned that her increased consumption of water might mean she had diabetes. With trepidation he made the vet appointment. He was not at all prepared for the words the veterinarian said to him.  “Haley is a very sick kitty.  She has a tumor in her kidney and her kidneys are failing.  She needs to be put to sleep before she has seizures, becomes senile or goes into a coma.”   My friend was so shocked he simply couldn’t think clearly. He drove home and literally fell apart. We chatted and he decided to have some energy work done for Haley and for himself. He decided to pray for a miracle.   Haley was in good spirits and seemed herself for the next four weeks. He wondered if he had his miracle.  But then, slowly, over the last few days, Haley began lose weight. Her appetite waned. She began to throw up what she did eat and she drank less water. He could tell her thinking was out of her norm too.  She tried to get into the refrigerator. She tried to lift the lid on the toilet bowl. She often just stared at him. He asked me to do a read on her energy. It was with sadness I told him she was beginning her transition Home.

True to his nature, my friend struggled with what to do and when. Was it too soon?  Should he wait? How would he know when?  How could he do IT?   And afterward… Then what?   He would be so lonely!  We talked… A lot!   The appointment was scheduled and the grieving began.   “How can a person make so many tears,” he asked?  This morning, I picked him up and together we drove Miss Haley to the clinic. She was ready. She rested quietly in the car. Her usual response to car rides was a bit of vocal complaining. Today she was peaceful and quiet.  As we arrived at the clinic he cried “I wish I had an appointment time when no one else would be here. I can’t stand for anyone to see me like this. “. As I softly touched his arm, I gently reminded him, “everyone here today is also a pet person. They will understand and feel your grief. These are just the right people to share your experience!”

With all paperwork formalities done, we sat in exam room. We chatted and giggled about her funny stories. He held her and he cried. She, however , just lay peacefully in his arms. She looked at him often and he asked me again if it was too soon.  She nuzzled him and that was his answer that the timing was just right.  When the vet confirmed this was the right time, he allowed the two companions to share a few moments. He thanked her for her years of companionship and love. He kissed he sweet face and stroked her throughout. She transitioned in the arms of her person, comforted and surrounded in all his loving energy. He, too, was surrounded in loving peace far greater than just my human arms. It was as if there was a team of angels there for her transition and his strength.

Those who have experienced the deep connection with our 4legged companions understand the grace and goodness that comes with sharing life together. Yet, we also know all too well the grief and the gratitude that comes when letting go.  I am honored to have been there to support Haley’s human.  I am, as always, humbled by the beauty of unconditional love.

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Boycott Coke?

boycott coke

Really?

Drinking Coke is something I don’t and WON’t do.  Not now and not ever!  It has nothing to do with their new Superbowl commercial.  Drinking soda is a topic I have covered in an earlier post and will most certainly discuss again later.  Today, I want to discuss the “Boycott Coke” signs I’ve seen floating around on social media. 

 Today, our country is divided, nearly equally, on politics, equality, and immigration.  Each side believing they are the correct side and that the other side is just plain wrong.  As horribly divided as our country was 50-70 years ago, I’m not sure we have improved much.  So why would Coke take such a hotly charged topic and bring it to America in such a compelling “in-your-face” style?   Certainly they knew there would be those who would smile and beam with pride at how dynamic the commercial was and how beautiful our patriotic song sounded in so many different languages.  Certainly they also knew there would be those who would stare at the TV, jaw hanging open in stunned amazement that our beautiful patriotic song was butchered because it wasn’t in English.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have heard both sides of this debate and it isn’t pretty.    

 Years ago, Coca-Cola made a huge hit when they released the commercial I have attached to the blog post.  Anyone over 50 most certainly can sing every word of the song, “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing”.  We loved the song regardless if we like Coke.  The commercial showed the diversity of nationalities which make us America!  And, yes, it was all harmonized in English.  Every time I think of how I want the world to really be – I hear that song and smile.  I would love to see every human look at another and realize that skin color or country of origin doesn’t matter.  I’d love for every one of us to reach out to another and offer peace and compassion. Ahhh… just imagine….

As I re-visit their most recent commercial and compare it to the 1971 version posted above… I am struck by several points.  The images in the 2014 commercial are absolutely beautiful.  Turn the volume down and just look at the images.  You smile.  The images are what America is all about.  Happy people.  People helping people. Our countryside.  Our people!   It’s beautiful.  I watched the video of the new commercial with the song from the 1971 version and I had tears of happy!  

 Regardless of your like or dislike of the commercial itself, I will certainly give credit to the marketing team at Coca-Cola for stepping out of the politically correct comfort zone and offering up an attempt to bring America together – just as they did in 1971.   But mostly, I wonder…. how would the commercial have been received if the song was done in English – with accents and all?  Would it have made a difference?

What do you think about the commercial and the message Coke was sending?

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Abundance Attitude

Do your thoughts influence your income? Can your thinking really influence the flow of abundance into your life? Do you have an attitude that stops the flow of money? Are you aware of how you interfere with your own prosperity? Special Guest Barbette Spitler will help us understand how to open up to the flow of abundance. She’ll discuss the natural energy of abundance and how to attune to prosperity in all areas of your life.

Listen Here:
http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/75431/abundance-attitude

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Movies Often Bring Brilliant Messages

Hollywood has, for many decades, been the bringer of movies with a story line filled with entertainment, while carrying a hidden, but poignant message.  For those who resonate with the message buried deep within the scenery, costumes, and music, the information can be simple or it can be life altering.  

Though I seldom go to the movie theatre, I recently saw “Saving Mr. Banks”.  Seeing the previews, I understood the move to be about bringing Mary Poppins to life through Disney.  Yes, that would be the general theme of the movie.  However, expertly disguised within that story line is yet a deeper and far more brilliant message for viewers.  How Mary Poppins came to be written!

Everyone has a story!  Hidden deep within the psyche of every human being is a story line that impacts their thoughts, feelings, and decisions, as well as their actions and reactions.  You will notice this connection as you view the movie.  You notice this dynamic with every person you meet, if you choose. 

After suffering a loss in my young life, I remember feeling surprised how others didn’t see my grief.  But, how would they know?  It’s a quick life lesson, isn’t it?  My grief, my sadness, my lack of focus… they were only mine.  I was, at times, lost in my grief.  Several times I found myself staring off into space, lost in thought, only to find another person trying to get my attention.  When I finally acknowledged, I could see their annoyance.  Unless I announced my grief, they could only presume my distraction.  I learned!  I learned everyone has a story. I may never know the reasoning behind someones actions or reactions, but I do know, with certainty, they have a story line that runs deep within.  

I could name many movies with brilliant messages hidden within the story.  But my message today is not about the movies themselves.  I could tell you the brilliance buried within “Saving Mr. Banks”.  But that is not my message today.  Instead it is about finding compassion for others.  Especially for those who’s actions seem out of balance.  Although we do not have to know their story – knowing they have one helps us to be empathetic, patient, understanding.  And maybe, just maybe, we can offer a loving gesture like Ralph did (go see the movie) and be the pivotal point in someone’s life journey.

 radiating heart

 

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Drinking cows milk? Why?

My family was raised on a small 30 acre farm in Ohio.  We milked cows, made our own butter, had a HUGE garden, baled our own hay, butchered our own pigs, cows and chickens and we canned the vegetables we grew.  We drank milk every day.  It was fresh, raw, organic, grass fed, hormone free and healthy!  

     dairy_cow_with_calves  Back then, all cows were grass fed.  That’s what they are supposed to eat – GRASS.  They have a complicated digestive system designed to eat grass.  NOT CORN or grain!  So, feed a cow mostly corn and guess what?  You have a sick cow.  Sick cows don’t grow well.  So guess what?  They receive antibiotics to keep them fighting off the infections AND hormones to make them grow despite their illnesses.  ICK!  And then….  milk the cow and serve up that antibiotic and hormone laden stuff and call it healthy.  Well, it’s not! 

       After the cow has released its milk, the milk is now pasteurized.  That process alone changes the proteins in the milk and makes them non digestible for humans.  Did I mention yet that cow’s milk is made for baby cows.  Consider this… Feed a baby cow the milk sold to humans and they won’t live long enough to reach the age of butchering.  Moreover, calf’s fed pasteurized milk will be underweight, low energy, and have poor quality skin and fur, which cannot be used for leather.   

       Furthermore, if you are drinking milk because it’s “does a body good” or “builds strong bones” consider this:  The calcium that WAS in cows milk is attached to those proteins which were denatured in the pasteurization process and guess what?  We don’t get the calcium from the milk! 

       If you are drinking cows milk, organic or not, if it’s pasteurized (and you have to work really hard to find a farm willing to sell it to you raw), you have to ask yourself   WHY?   Like the taste and have no expectations of health?  Think moderation  < 1 glass/day.  If you are looking for calcium – get it where the cows used to….   Green Leafy Veggies!

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Duck Dynasty’s Freedom of Speech

I am intrigued by the very vocal support being given to Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson for his recent public comments against the gay population.  I hear many people shouting about his right to Freedom of Speech and the cries against the cable channel A&E for suspending him. 

 

Freedom of Speech is the first of the 10 Amendments in our Bill of Rights.  Over the years, there have been MANY cases tried in the courts addressing both sides of the issue of free speech.  The bottom line is really quite simple….  In our country, protected by the Bill of Rights, you can say just about anything to almost anyone about nearly any topic you choose.  The First Amendment may very well cover your right to say it or write it.  But, you will most likely find yourself accountable for what you said or wrote at some level. 

 

If you choose to speak poorly about your employer, you may be terminated.  If you choose to speak against another, you may be sued for slander or liable.  Our right to free speech doesn’t free us from being accountable for what we said and how we said it. 

 

Celebrities, regardless of their level of popularity, are frequently in front of a microphone and often speak their opinions.  If they are thoughtful of their fan base, and savvy to the ways of influencing people and earning more fans, they will choose their words wisely and deliver their message with respect and meaning.  If, however, they speak without the filter of common decency, they will most certainly be held accountable for their statements. 

 

I have never watched an episode of Duck Dynasty nor do I have any desire to do so.  I have no idea who Phil Robertson is or what he stands for.  I don’t need to know.  I respect his right to express his opinion.  However, I also respect his employer’s decision to suspend him.  A&E is a business and is in business to make money.  They know the stats and understand over 70% of Americans support gay rights.  Which also means a large majority of those Americans would be offended by those comments.  Ignoring disparaging remarks like those could mean loss of viewership and revenue to A&E.  For those who are calling for a boycott of A&E – what do you hope to gain?  Viewership of your beloved Duck Dynasty will drop and the show will be cancelled.  Is that your intention? 

 

Yes, we have the right to share our opinions and express our sentiments.  And, we must be willing to be accountable for sharing them as well.  Freedom of Speech is not Freedom From Accountability. 

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Summer Salads Voice America Radio Show

This is the season for productive gardens and abundant Farmer’s Markets. So what do you do with all the wonderful fresh produce that is at your fingertips? Cold meals on hot days make sense. Healthy, nutritious, and satisfying salads are easy to prepare during your busy summer days. Do you have a favorite salad recipe? And what do you do with kale? Join guest Barbette Spitler as we discuss our favorite summer salad recipes and the nutritious variety of meals you can create this summer.
Listen Here

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